“Clean good. Cleaning bad.” –Jerry Seinfeld

“There are two types of dirt: the dark kind, attracted to light objects; and the light kind, attracted to dark objects.” –Ely Slick

“If you are very efficient, you will have a spotless kitchen, but you will never have time for a real conversation.” –Geoffrey Godbey

“Dogs do not grasp the concept of house cleaning.” –Dave Barry

“Water rings on the coffee table just show how many great parties you’ve had.” –Mary McHugh

“When people walk into your house they should feel, ‘This is a place where happy times happen.’” –Sarah Ban Breathnach

“Men who help with laundry have better sex lives.” –Peter Post

“If a nine year old is clever enough to play video games, he is smart enough to operate the washing machine.” –Marguerite Kelly

“Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.” --Fran Lebowitz

“The best things in life aren’t things.” –Art Buchwald

“Only in American do we park costly cars in the driveway and park worthless junk in the garage.” –Unknown

“The stuff stays here. I’m renting a storage space so I can go sit in a nice empty room.” --Cathy Guieswite

“Never love anything that can’t love you back.” –Don Aslett

“Have nothing in your house you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.” –William Morris

“Excuse my dust.” –Dorothy Parker’s requested epitaph

“Your home is the most revealing aspect of your inner growth and your ability to see beauty.” –Alexandra Stoddard

“To be happy at home is the result of all ambition.” –Samuel Johnson